Grand Prize
I had never lost at a video game. I was not only better than you and your friends, but I was better than anyone I had ever met. Classic games? I’d make traditional gamers cry. Modern first-person shooters? Can you say three-sixty-no-scope from across the map while only holding the controller with one hand? I had a gift. Heck, video games were my super power. So when I found that secret arcade and learned that I could gain a real super power, I got pretty excited. And all it took was winning a game.
I was walking home late one night from the library and decided to cut through the busy part of the metropolis. Taxis, a billion night-owls wandering the streets, late night vendors, smoke, pollution, and the smell of hotdogs all danced around my senses. Typical busy city right? Well anyways, I’m walking down one of those streets where you’re being jostled by a thousand people and horns are blaring and some homeless guy is giving you a weird look and suddenly… from the corner of my eye I see some kid maybe a couple of years older than me lean against a wall and tap a brick. People get in my way and when the sidewalk clears up a little, the kid is gone. I almost took no notice— people disappear out of your vision all the time, especially in a crowded city—but the guy looked excited. It was the same look I’d get when I was about to play a really juicy game with Easter eggs, challenges, and secret rewards. I almost took no notice— except for the kid’s look and that the brick wall was sliding shut. A secret entrance!
I rushed over to where the kid had been standing, pushing my way through a dozen strangers and shooing a stray dog, and examined the wall. Seamless. But I had seen it open up like some sort of sideways mouth. I tried pushing against different bricks like I had seen the kid do. Suddenly, there was a whoosh and the wall opened up. Hands reached out and yanked me through.
It was so sudden, I didn’t even have time to process that one second I was being bombarded by city scenery, and the next I’m in some huge secret city plaza with neon lights flashing and reflecting off a million surfaces. Techno music was blaring, there was laughter, and I spotted at least eight different stores selling anything from pulse rifles to LED-attached sea snakes. Women with purple mohawks and vibrating sunglasses passed by and some man shot away on a hoverboard.
The hands that had yanked me through belonged to some super tiny guy who could have been a stunt-double from an elf holographic movie.
“Don’t hover at the entrance when you come to Black Star Plaza.” he warned me with a funny little growl. “You don’t want everyone finding out about this place do ya kid?”
I shook my head and the guy wobbled off into the crowd. I gazed at my surroundings with my mouth wide open. Remember when your parents took you to your first holo-show and the characters ran up and talked to you as if you were part of the movie? You didn’t even speak back to them at first ‘cause you were so amazed. The character would then shrug and walk away. That was like how I felt when I found Black Star Plaza. What? You’ve never been to a holo-movie? Alrighty then…
So I’m walking down the center of this secret city block and there it was: Andy’s Arcade. It had a classic arcade entrance—wide double doors inviting you in, loud catchy music, and lights that flashed so brightly you had to blink and look away. A couple of dudes walked past, heading inside. I heard them talk about the arcade, saying stuff like: Andy’s Arcade’s the best man! And Did’ja see the prize Chris got from beating that puzzle game with the robots? The guys disappeared inside and I made up my mind. I had to check out this arcade. I was good at games right? If the prizes were worth my time, I’d walk home that night like a king.
Man, I cannot describe to you how it was to walk into that arcade. First thing I see is some kid going to town on a classic top-down spaceship shooter. He’s holding the joysticks with a fervor, sweating up a storm… he’s got other people surrounding him and cheering like crazy. So the kid wins; the screen flashed the WINNER! image and everyone’s clapping… and suddenly the kid that was playing is hovering six feet in the air, a broad grin on his face. He’s shouting, “I got the ability! I got the ability!”
Before I can even rub my eyes to see if I’m dreaming or not, two others start flying up in the air with him while some girl conjures a bubble around herself and floats after them. Yeah, go on, tell me I’m lying! I don’t care! I’m not making it up! I’m not on drugs either if that’s what you’re implying. I swear to you, they honest-to-tech had powers!
So the first thing I do is run over to an attendant standing nearby and throw myself at him, begging to know how the arcade works. The bored-looking man takes me over to a sign, points to it, and leaves. It says:
Andy’s Arcade
Wanna win a special power?
Wanna fly, control time, or shoot fire out of your hands?
Now you can! Just pick out a game and play! If you win, you get a reward!
But be careful, if you do happen to lose, it’ll cost you! The harder the game, the better the prize! Good luck!
$5.00 per game
*If something happens that breaks the laws of physics or destroys our Universe as we know it, please don’t bother the staff about it.
I went ballistic. This was my nirvana. This was my destiny! I was a master gamer, they were offering me super-powers to win at games… yeah, bingo! I was high on euphoria man!
Anyways, I run up to the first game I see. It’s called Thundor’s Quest. Five bucks. Offers the prize to summon a sword out of thin air. Heck yeah I played it. I swiped my bank card in the money slot and grabbed the controllers. They were simple; a couple of joysticks and two buttons. Easy-peasy. Game starts up and there’s Thundor the son of the Sky King. He’s on a quest to save the sun’s core or something. I rush through the game, cutting down droids and lava serpents. I get the secret bonus perks and upgrade my spaceship and then my dude’s loincloth. Why he’s not wearing clothes in a futuristic game is anyone’s guess. I beat the game flawlessly. High score too. WINNER! flashes across my screen.
Then I feel this tingling in my hand. I look at it and there’s this little tattoo between my thumb and pointer finger. It’s a sword. I press the tattoo and with a swoosh that made me jump ten feet in the air, I’m suddenly holding a massive broadsword with stars carved into it. I can hardly hold the thing! I push the tattoo and the sword is gone. It’s a great power, but kind of a scary one to show off. Don’t wanna poke a friend in the eye if you know what I mean.
So I go off and search for a game with a bigger challenge; something with an even better reward. As I’m doing that, I spot some mousy kid lose at a guitar tabbing game. The screen flashes LOSER! and everyone backs away from the kid. Suddenly he’s screaming and all his fingers are falling off in bursts of blood. He hits the floor moaning, holding stumps for hands. I nearly puke of course. Man, it nearly got me to leave the arcade! A couple of people help him to his feet and he’s rushed out of there, heading across the street to some place called Gizmo’s Healing Wonders for the Mystically Injured.
I move on, feeling a little worried but also a little greedy. I’m seeing some cool powers around me and I admit, it made me jealous. Some girl was turning stuff into gold for goodness sakes!
There’s a game called Daisy goes on an Adventure. I skip it, it only offered the power to control exactly how your hair looked. I pass by Spoopy’s Scary Manor, Capture the Bloody Flag, and Rush-Time Turbo. I spot a game called AntiGravity and I read the inscription under the title. Winners get the power of teleportation! Losers get an incurable disease! I could deal with the risk, I was a Gaming God.
I pay and the game starts up. I’m inside a spaceship orbiting a black hole. There’s aliens teleporting into the ship and trying to take over. They wanna steer the vessel into the black hole and send us into the Shadow Dimension. It’s harder than any game I’ve ever played before. The aliens teleport all around my character, attacking me with whips. I’m shooting, jumping, picking up ammo, and desperately looking for health packs. There’s no pattern to the alien attacks. I move from room to room in the spaceship and make it to the control station. A massive alien boss that looks like a living tree appears. I barely survive the fight. Winner! flashes on my screen as I wipe sweat off my face. I was still the gaming master. People were around me, cheering and everything! It’s funny, ‘cause I felt this tingling in my stomach and I pictured another part of the arcade. Suddenly, I’m there. I could teleport! Don’t look at me like that. Take my story seriously! I haven’t even gotten to the end yet!
I was confident I could get every power that arcade offered at that point. I’d be broke, but that didn’t matter! I scowered, literally scowered every inch of that place for the best power ever. And there it was. In the middle of the room. Everyone longingly stared at it but no one played it. Dungeon Crawler. I approached it slowly, in awe. The machine looked awesome! Blue glowing skulls attached to the side of the console opened and closed their mouths. Behind it was a massive cardboard cut-out of a demon holding a bunch of heads by their hair. It was unlike any other machine I’d played on. Instead of controllers, there was a Virtu-treadmill in front of the huge square screen. Below the screen was a large closed slot that looked like it could open and hand me items. I stood in front of the game in reverence. This was the big-daddy of video-games. The mother-load. People were crowding around me. I think they could sense I was about to play the game. Others walked over. The arcade went quiet.
I stepped up to the treadmill and read the instructions posted next to the pay slot.
Dungeon Crawler
$5.00
Winner can reshape reality as they see fit
Loser has their reality reshaped for them
The prize was too good to be true. I could do whatever I wanted if I won the game? Awesome! Yeah, I was born for that moment. So I wipe my card and the screen goes from black to showing a large wooden door. There’s flickering torches to both sides and a whispery voice echoes out: “Enter at your own risk!”
I’m probably grinning like a maniac at that point but at the same time wondering how the heck to play. I’m looking around like an idiot, trying to find some button to press, when a hint pops up on the screen.
Open the door by indicating with your hand.
I reach out and twist my hand like I’m holding a virtual doorknob and the wooden door on the screen opens. I take a step forward on the Virtu-tread and the floor compensates my movements, keeping me in place. I move through the door. The slot beneath the screen slides open and I see a handle. I reach out and pull out a small stone sword. A basic weapon. An indicator appears on the edge of my screen showing my health and my equipment. The sword does three points of damage. It gives me an idea and I set the sword down and push my tattoo instead. A huge sword appears in my hand and my weapon stats change to fifteen points of damage. Much better. A notice appears.
Bonus points earned! Achievement unlocked: Outside Help
I begin to explore the dungeon, running through stone halls and passing skeletons of unfortunate virtual players. I come across a hall filled with spiders. A few swings of my heavy blade and they’re dead. All I have to do is wave my sword in the air and the game picks up what I want to do. It’s very accurate.
Oh what’s that? You haven’t heard of tech that can do that? Well, you haven’t been to the Black Star Plaza have you? Let me finish my story.
I kill the spiders; blah, blah, blah and find a room with a chest. There’s a health potion inside. The hatch below the screen drops out a soda and I take it. Moving on I jump over spike-pits, dodge arrows that shoot from the walls, and have a close run-in with a huge poisonous bat. It chases me around and I lead it into the hallway that shoots arrows. Afterwards I drink my health potion a.k.a. soda and watch my health bar go up. My real body is super tired at this point from running in place and swinging the giant sword. I almost switched to the stone sword for a little but I was having enough of a challenge surviving with the better weapon as it was.
I find a crypt and loot a shield off a skeleton. The hatch beneath the screen opens, giving me my item. Skeletons come to life and begin firing arrows. I block as many as I can while I sprint out of the room. I nearly die.
In the hallway is a wraith just waiting for me. It begins to attack and I try everything I can to defend myself. A message pops up on the screen.
Your item cannot harm this entity.
I’m forced to run but the monster gives chase. I desperately search for chests that can give me a different weapons. I get lucky and find a small closet containing a glowing spear. I press my tattoo and my sword vanished. The hatch below the screen givens me my new weapon. My damage power goes up to twenty and there’s a perk beneath the bar stating I can kill spirits now. I stab the wraith and watch it vanish.
So I keep moving in the dungeon; dodging more traps, collecting armor which I have to put on while fighting an evil goblin that looked suspiciously like the entrance guard to the plaza, and so on. There’s a sewer area to the map, and a pyramid, and even a creepy swamp with a set of ruins. Eventually I find a boss room. I could tell because the door had a large skull embedded into it. I feel confident but wary and make my way inside, finding a huge circular chamber with a sacrificial stone slab in the middle.
This terrifying lich crawls out from behind the slab and stands, its arms bursting into flames. We begin to fight around the room. I stab at it with my spear and shoot my crossbow at him. He dodges both attacks and catches my guy on fire. I drink a health potion and set a bomb in his path. It hurts him a little but also makes him angrier. Suddenly, I’m backed against the slab and the lich is attacking me with everything he’s got. I’m trying to use all my items and nothing’s working. I tried teleporting with my new ability but the screen warned me that the power wasn’t suited for the game. I’m screaming. The lich is in my face. The screen changes. Loser!
I’d lost a game! I’d lost the game!
I remember falling to my knees, stunned. The crowd backed away, muttering. Then the game warning comes back to me. Loser has their reality reshaped for them.
I didn’t have time to shout or anything. One second I’m in Andy’s Arcade and the next I’m here in this place. It’s a different year, a different city. Even the culture is different. Everyone’s looking at me weirdly too. They say I’m in America. In my reality America was called Terrus. We were a few decades ahead of you guys too.
So there I was, my reality changed just like the game said. I spotted you sitting here by yourself so I decided to tell you my story, you know, in case there’s a way of helping me out. I gotta get home you see?
You don’t believe me? Come on man! I’m not lying or making this up! Please, you have to believe me, I’m not just some crazy! Hey, where are you going? No come back, please! Help me! Wait, come back!
I was walking home late one night from the library and decided to cut through the busy part of the metropolis. Taxis, a billion night-owls wandering the streets, late night vendors, smoke, pollution, and the smell of hotdogs all danced around my senses. Typical busy city right? Well anyways, I’m walking down one of those streets where you’re being jostled by a thousand people and horns are blaring and some homeless guy is giving you a weird look and suddenly… from the corner of my eye I see some kid maybe a couple of years older than me lean against a wall and tap a brick. People get in my way and when the sidewalk clears up a little, the kid is gone. I almost took no notice— people disappear out of your vision all the time, especially in a crowded city—but the guy looked excited. It was the same look I’d get when I was about to play a really juicy game with Easter eggs, challenges, and secret rewards. I almost took no notice— except for the kid’s look and that the brick wall was sliding shut. A secret entrance!
I rushed over to where the kid had been standing, pushing my way through a dozen strangers and shooing a stray dog, and examined the wall. Seamless. But I had seen it open up like some sort of sideways mouth. I tried pushing against different bricks like I had seen the kid do. Suddenly, there was a whoosh and the wall opened up. Hands reached out and yanked me through.
It was so sudden, I didn’t even have time to process that one second I was being bombarded by city scenery, and the next I’m in some huge secret city plaza with neon lights flashing and reflecting off a million surfaces. Techno music was blaring, there was laughter, and I spotted at least eight different stores selling anything from pulse rifles to LED-attached sea snakes. Women with purple mohawks and vibrating sunglasses passed by and some man shot away on a hoverboard.
The hands that had yanked me through belonged to some super tiny guy who could have been a stunt-double from an elf holographic movie.
“Don’t hover at the entrance when you come to Black Star Plaza.” he warned me with a funny little growl. “You don’t want everyone finding out about this place do ya kid?”
I shook my head and the guy wobbled off into the crowd. I gazed at my surroundings with my mouth wide open. Remember when your parents took you to your first holo-show and the characters ran up and talked to you as if you were part of the movie? You didn’t even speak back to them at first ‘cause you were so amazed. The character would then shrug and walk away. That was like how I felt when I found Black Star Plaza. What? You’ve never been to a holo-movie? Alrighty then…
So I’m walking down the center of this secret city block and there it was: Andy’s Arcade. It had a classic arcade entrance—wide double doors inviting you in, loud catchy music, and lights that flashed so brightly you had to blink and look away. A couple of dudes walked past, heading inside. I heard them talk about the arcade, saying stuff like: Andy’s Arcade’s the best man! And Did’ja see the prize Chris got from beating that puzzle game with the robots? The guys disappeared inside and I made up my mind. I had to check out this arcade. I was good at games right? If the prizes were worth my time, I’d walk home that night like a king.
Man, I cannot describe to you how it was to walk into that arcade. First thing I see is some kid going to town on a classic top-down spaceship shooter. He’s holding the joysticks with a fervor, sweating up a storm… he’s got other people surrounding him and cheering like crazy. So the kid wins; the screen flashed the WINNER! image and everyone’s clapping… and suddenly the kid that was playing is hovering six feet in the air, a broad grin on his face. He’s shouting, “I got the ability! I got the ability!”
Before I can even rub my eyes to see if I’m dreaming or not, two others start flying up in the air with him while some girl conjures a bubble around herself and floats after them. Yeah, go on, tell me I’m lying! I don’t care! I’m not making it up! I’m not on drugs either if that’s what you’re implying. I swear to you, they honest-to-tech had powers!
So the first thing I do is run over to an attendant standing nearby and throw myself at him, begging to know how the arcade works. The bored-looking man takes me over to a sign, points to it, and leaves. It says:
Andy’s Arcade
Wanna win a special power?
Wanna fly, control time, or shoot fire out of your hands?
Now you can! Just pick out a game and play! If you win, you get a reward!
But be careful, if you do happen to lose, it’ll cost you! The harder the game, the better the prize! Good luck!
$5.00 per game
*If something happens that breaks the laws of physics or destroys our Universe as we know it, please don’t bother the staff about it.
I went ballistic. This was my nirvana. This was my destiny! I was a master gamer, they were offering me super-powers to win at games… yeah, bingo! I was high on euphoria man!
Anyways, I run up to the first game I see. It’s called Thundor’s Quest. Five bucks. Offers the prize to summon a sword out of thin air. Heck yeah I played it. I swiped my bank card in the money slot and grabbed the controllers. They were simple; a couple of joysticks and two buttons. Easy-peasy. Game starts up and there’s Thundor the son of the Sky King. He’s on a quest to save the sun’s core or something. I rush through the game, cutting down droids and lava serpents. I get the secret bonus perks and upgrade my spaceship and then my dude’s loincloth. Why he’s not wearing clothes in a futuristic game is anyone’s guess. I beat the game flawlessly. High score too. WINNER! flashes across my screen.
Then I feel this tingling in my hand. I look at it and there’s this little tattoo between my thumb and pointer finger. It’s a sword. I press the tattoo and with a swoosh that made me jump ten feet in the air, I’m suddenly holding a massive broadsword with stars carved into it. I can hardly hold the thing! I push the tattoo and the sword is gone. It’s a great power, but kind of a scary one to show off. Don’t wanna poke a friend in the eye if you know what I mean.
So I go off and search for a game with a bigger challenge; something with an even better reward. As I’m doing that, I spot some mousy kid lose at a guitar tabbing game. The screen flashes LOSER! and everyone backs away from the kid. Suddenly he’s screaming and all his fingers are falling off in bursts of blood. He hits the floor moaning, holding stumps for hands. I nearly puke of course. Man, it nearly got me to leave the arcade! A couple of people help him to his feet and he’s rushed out of there, heading across the street to some place called Gizmo’s Healing Wonders for the Mystically Injured.
I move on, feeling a little worried but also a little greedy. I’m seeing some cool powers around me and I admit, it made me jealous. Some girl was turning stuff into gold for goodness sakes!
There’s a game called Daisy goes on an Adventure. I skip it, it only offered the power to control exactly how your hair looked. I pass by Spoopy’s Scary Manor, Capture the Bloody Flag, and Rush-Time Turbo. I spot a game called AntiGravity and I read the inscription under the title. Winners get the power of teleportation! Losers get an incurable disease! I could deal with the risk, I was a Gaming God.
I pay and the game starts up. I’m inside a spaceship orbiting a black hole. There’s aliens teleporting into the ship and trying to take over. They wanna steer the vessel into the black hole and send us into the Shadow Dimension. It’s harder than any game I’ve ever played before. The aliens teleport all around my character, attacking me with whips. I’m shooting, jumping, picking up ammo, and desperately looking for health packs. There’s no pattern to the alien attacks. I move from room to room in the spaceship and make it to the control station. A massive alien boss that looks like a living tree appears. I barely survive the fight. Winner! flashes on my screen as I wipe sweat off my face. I was still the gaming master. People were around me, cheering and everything! It’s funny, ‘cause I felt this tingling in my stomach and I pictured another part of the arcade. Suddenly, I’m there. I could teleport! Don’t look at me like that. Take my story seriously! I haven’t even gotten to the end yet!
I was confident I could get every power that arcade offered at that point. I’d be broke, but that didn’t matter! I scowered, literally scowered every inch of that place for the best power ever. And there it was. In the middle of the room. Everyone longingly stared at it but no one played it. Dungeon Crawler. I approached it slowly, in awe. The machine looked awesome! Blue glowing skulls attached to the side of the console opened and closed their mouths. Behind it was a massive cardboard cut-out of a demon holding a bunch of heads by their hair. It was unlike any other machine I’d played on. Instead of controllers, there was a Virtu-treadmill in front of the huge square screen. Below the screen was a large closed slot that looked like it could open and hand me items. I stood in front of the game in reverence. This was the big-daddy of video-games. The mother-load. People were crowding around me. I think they could sense I was about to play the game. Others walked over. The arcade went quiet.
I stepped up to the treadmill and read the instructions posted next to the pay slot.
Dungeon Crawler
$5.00
Winner can reshape reality as they see fit
Loser has their reality reshaped for them
The prize was too good to be true. I could do whatever I wanted if I won the game? Awesome! Yeah, I was born for that moment. So I wipe my card and the screen goes from black to showing a large wooden door. There’s flickering torches to both sides and a whispery voice echoes out: “Enter at your own risk!”
I’m probably grinning like a maniac at that point but at the same time wondering how the heck to play. I’m looking around like an idiot, trying to find some button to press, when a hint pops up on the screen.
Open the door by indicating with your hand.
I reach out and twist my hand like I’m holding a virtual doorknob and the wooden door on the screen opens. I take a step forward on the Virtu-tread and the floor compensates my movements, keeping me in place. I move through the door. The slot beneath the screen slides open and I see a handle. I reach out and pull out a small stone sword. A basic weapon. An indicator appears on the edge of my screen showing my health and my equipment. The sword does three points of damage. It gives me an idea and I set the sword down and push my tattoo instead. A huge sword appears in my hand and my weapon stats change to fifteen points of damage. Much better. A notice appears.
Bonus points earned! Achievement unlocked: Outside Help
I begin to explore the dungeon, running through stone halls and passing skeletons of unfortunate virtual players. I come across a hall filled with spiders. A few swings of my heavy blade and they’re dead. All I have to do is wave my sword in the air and the game picks up what I want to do. It’s very accurate.
Oh what’s that? You haven’t heard of tech that can do that? Well, you haven’t been to the Black Star Plaza have you? Let me finish my story.
I kill the spiders; blah, blah, blah and find a room with a chest. There’s a health potion inside. The hatch below the screen drops out a soda and I take it. Moving on I jump over spike-pits, dodge arrows that shoot from the walls, and have a close run-in with a huge poisonous bat. It chases me around and I lead it into the hallway that shoots arrows. Afterwards I drink my health potion a.k.a. soda and watch my health bar go up. My real body is super tired at this point from running in place and swinging the giant sword. I almost switched to the stone sword for a little but I was having enough of a challenge surviving with the better weapon as it was.
I find a crypt and loot a shield off a skeleton. The hatch beneath the screen opens, giving me my item. Skeletons come to life and begin firing arrows. I block as many as I can while I sprint out of the room. I nearly die.
In the hallway is a wraith just waiting for me. It begins to attack and I try everything I can to defend myself. A message pops up on the screen.
Your item cannot harm this entity.
I’m forced to run but the monster gives chase. I desperately search for chests that can give me a different weapons. I get lucky and find a small closet containing a glowing spear. I press my tattoo and my sword vanished. The hatch below the screen givens me my new weapon. My damage power goes up to twenty and there’s a perk beneath the bar stating I can kill spirits now. I stab the wraith and watch it vanish.
So I keep moving in the dungeon; dodging more traps, collecting armor which I have to put on while fighting an evil goblin that looked suspiciously like the entrance guard to the plaza, and so on. There’s a sewer area to the map, and a pyramid, and even a creepy swamp with a set of ruins. Eventually I find a boss room. I could tell because the door had a large skull embedded into it. I feel confident but wary and make my way inside, finding a huge circular chamber with a sacrificial stone slab in the middle.
This terrifying lich crawls out from behind the slab and stands, its arms bursting into flames. We begin to fight around the room. I stab at it with my spear and shoot my crossbow at him. He dodges both attacks and catches my guy on fire. I drink a health potion and set a bomb in his path. It hurts him a little but also makes him angrier. Suddenly, I’m backed against the slab and the lich is attacking me with everything he’s got. I’m trying to use all my items and nothing’s working. I tried teleporting with my new ability but the screen warned me that the power wasn’t suited for the game. I’m screaming. The lich is in my face. The screen changes. Loser!
I’d lost a game! I’d lost the game!
I remember falling to my knees, stunned. The crowd backed away, muttering. Then the game warning comes back to me. Loser has their reality reshaped for them.
I didn’t have time to shout or anything. One second I’m in Andy’s Arcade and the next I’m here in this place. It’s a different year, a different city. Even the culture is different. Everyone’s looking at me weirdly too. They say I’m in America. In my reality America was called Terrus. We were a few decades ahead of you guys too.
So there I was, my reality changed just like the game said. I spotted you sitting here by yourself so I decided to tell you my story, you know, in case there’s a way of helping me out. I gotta get home you see?
You don’t believe me? Come on man! I’m not lying or making this up! Please, you have to believe me, I’m not just some crazy! Hey, where are you going? No come back, please! Help me! Wait, come back!
